The Ex- Files
This post is also available in: Spanish
Photos by Beto Ramos
Breaking up is hard to do. I mean, what do you do with all the crap your ex gave you? It’s not good to keep such bad juju lying around your house! I recently discovered the site Never Liked it Anyways, where you can sell whatever your old boyfriends gave you, and you get to rant about him too! I think this concept is amazing, what a better way to purge yourself from all the negative aspects of the relationship than venting to complete strangers, getting rid of all the things the sucker gave you AND getting some moolah for your wasted time? I told you before that love stories suck. I also told you to love yourself before loving others, and now I’m going to tell you a bit about my exes. Over at Never Liked It Anyways they gave me a challenge; to find the funniest/weirdest/coolest presents my exes ever gave me and style/model them.
I wouldn’t want to sell any of the things they gave me because some things are too expensive, and some are worth absolutely nothing. None of these things hold any sentimental value. When I wear them I don’t think of the person who gave them to me (sorry guys, but you all kinda sucked!), I wear them just ’cause! Of course I have a lot more gifts than the ones you’re seeing here, but this is all I have with me in NYC. There’s a lot of stuff in my house in Caracas (I’m thinking of an old high school uniform shirt) and in Tampa, Fla., (lots of love letters and a poem just for me!). Everything I brought here with me is mostly PJs. Nothing sexy, but I still had a great time styling it!
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Most Popular Thing I Ever Got. My “Stewie Pants.”
Everyone who sees these pants likes these pants. I used to watch lots of Family Guy with my ex, we were both big fans of Stewie. I think he was about to throw them out and I fished them out of the bag. They’re cotton and perfect for lounging around the house during the warmer months. The Stewie pants are pilling, but I’m not getting rid of them.
Strangest thing I ever kept. My ex-boyfriend’s boxers.
Even though this was not the first guy I had seen in his underwear (sorry, dad) it was the first guy I saw a lot of in his underwear. When I first met him he already had these. He definitely upgraded to better underwear as the relationship progressed. As with most of the things here, he was about to throw them away but I wanted to keep them as PJs because they were so comfy. Most boxers ride up your hips and give you a horrible front wedgie; but not these, these are just awesome. I have another pair, those are missing a button in the front. People don’t like it when I wear those. I don’t care, I like ’em.
Best Thing I Ever Got. My ex-boyfriend’s t-shirt.
This is the BEST.T -SHIRT.EVER. I am the third owner of this shirt. I’ve had it for about five years now. My ex’s friend bought it and didn’t like it. He gave it to my ex but he didn’t like it either, so he gave it to me. It’s from Diesel and it’s made out of the best Egyptian cotton that’s ever grazed my skin. As you can see, it’s got a few holes and a few bleach stains (my PJs double as cleaning clothes as needed). I love this shirt with passion. My mom has tried to throw it out many times- but I will never let her.
most valuable thing I ever got. My Gazzaz watch.
Apparently, this is a man’s watch. My ex is from a country where men’s fashion is very questionable. Perhaps where he’s from he can rock this without being mocked, but by “stealing” this Swarovski-incrusted ticker from him I was actually just doing him a favor. Apparently Gazzaz is a very famous, luxury brand where he’s from, and the equivalent would be Saks Fifth Avenue or Bergdorf Goodman. I absolutely love this watch, but ever since the battery died a couple of years ago I haven’t worn it. I’m too lazy to get the battery changed. You’ve seen me rock it here before! This is the second Swarovski-ed up watch he gave me (he knew I loved my bling!), but that one is still in Tampa. Crap, I need to get down there to get the rest of my stuff pronto.
What’s the best thing you ever from one of your exes?